Food Poisoning Or...

broken heart?
Not exactly sure but ever since someone stole my laptop my stomach has hurt.
Yep, some lowlife stole it from my mom's house. That's right, walked right in and stole my words. And photos...
Okay, boo-hoo and all. I'll get over it. And part of my recovery was to eat something...comforting. Something without any redeeming value. And so I went into the depths of my pantry and found it...

Oh my---wheat flour and glyceryl monostearate!

 

Admit it---you were hoping for this.

                                                                 It just got better.

                                                    For dessert- the perfect pan-popped popcorn.

So now I feel better. Well, not really, but now my stomach hurts for a completely different reason.

"I am going on a diet. From this day forward, I pledge there will be no pork chop too succulent! No donut too tasty! No pizza too laden with delicious toppings to prevent me from reaching my scientifically-determined ideal weight! As God as my witness, I'll always be hungry again!" H. Simpson

 The Perfect Pan-Popped Popcorn

I bought The Husband an air popcorn popper for Christmas. It lasted three pops. So back to the stove. Which is the best. This recipe leaves you with zero kernels..if you do it right.

Ingredients

• 3 Tbsp canola oil
• 1/3 cup of high quality popcorn kernels
• 1 3-quart covered saucepan
• 2 Tbsp or more (to taste) of butter
• Salt to taste

Method

1 Heat the oil in a 3-quart saucepan on medium high heat.

2 Put 3 or 4 popcorn kernels into the oil and cover the pan.

3 When the kernels pop, add the rest of the 1/3 cup of popcorn kernels in an even layer. Cover, remove from heat and count 30 seconds. (Count out loud; it's fun to do with kids.) This method first heats the oil to the right temperature, then waiting 30 seconds brings all of the other kernels to a near-popping temperature so that when they are put back on the heat, they all pop at about the same time.

4 Return the pan to the heat. The popcorn should begin popping soon, and all at once. Once the popping starts in earnest, gently shake the pan by moving it back and forth over the burner. Try to keep the lid slightly ajar to let the steam from the popcorn release (the popcorn will be drier and crisper). Once the popping slows to several seconds between pops, remove the pan from the heat, remove the lid, and dump the popcorn immediately into a wide bowl.

With this technique, nearly all of the kernels pop (I counted 4 unpopped kernels in my last batch), and nothing burns.

5 If you are adding butter, you can easily melt it by placing the butter in the now empty, but hot pan.

6 Salt to taste.

 

Mmmmmm, Beerganoff!

For the past three days I have been home.

I have not gone shopping, or to the bank or even been in the car. The only other person I have spoken to is The Husband. I feel very Amish. Or slightly stir-crazy. Not sure which is worse.
I should be working on the novel, but the cloud over the lake seems to be inside my head as well and the words get all jumbled. Kind of like I am drunk. But I'm not. At least...I don't think I am.

Trying to figure out dinner last night I remembered a cooking segment The Husband was watching on the Today Show. Or Regis or the View. I can't keep his shows straight.

Anyhoo, I remember bits and pieces of the recipe, but the one thing I remember was beer. Beer, which is the one thing I won't drink. Seriously, it's the only item from the alcohol family that I turn my nose up at. But not the husband. Or the Children, for that matter. So I started tossing stuff out of the fridge and into the Dutch oven, mixed it with beer and came up with....Beerganoff! Have a cold one and serve this over noodles and think of me...drinking wine.

 "I feel sorry for people who don't drink. When they wake up in the morning, that's as good as they're going to feel." Homer Simpson

Beerganoff
Adapted from Nigella Lawson

 

Ingredients

• 1 tablespoon of olive oil
• 8 ounces (1/2 cup) pepper bacon, cut up- or turkey bacon if you must.
• 2 onions, chopped
• 2 teaspoons dried allspice
• 2 teaspoons dried thyme
• 2 1/2 pounds boneless beef shank, in approx. 2 inch cubes
• 1 cup all-purpose flour
• 1 cups beef broth (canned, carton or cube is fine)
• 4 teaspoons grainy mustard
• 3 tablespoons dark brown sugar
• 2 cups English dark ale or if you only have PBR like I did, go for it.
• 4 bay leaves
• 1 teaspoon kosher salt or 1/2 teaspoon table salt
• Good grinding pepper

Preparation

Preheat the oven to 300 degrees F.
Get out a large, heavy-bottomed Dutch oven and, on the stove over a medium to high heat, melt 1 tablespoon fat, or warm 1 tablespoon oil. Add the bacon pieces and cook, stirring frequently, for 5 to 10 minutes, until they are crispy.

Add the chopped onion, stirring well so that they're mixed into the bits of bacon, and turn down the heat to low and cook — stirring every now and again — for 10 minutes, by which time the onions will have softened.
Stir in the allspice and thyme and then tumble in the cubed beef shank and, for ease, with a pair of spatulas or suchlike, toss and turn the meat in the pan.
Shake in the flour and stir to mix as best you can.
Pour the broth into a large pitcher and stir in the mustard and sugar and then add the beer before pouring this over the stew in the pan.

Stir to mix, then let come to a boil, add the bay leaves and salt and a good grinding of pepper, then clamp on the lid and stagger to the oven with the heavy pan.
Cook gently for 3 hours. The house will smell delicious and you will wonder why the hell you never thought of making Beerganoff before. Serve over noodles to experience the whole Beerganoff effect. If you want, let cool, uncovered, before covering and refrigerating, then heat and serve the next day to bring happiness to your kitchen and stomach.