What to Feed a Widow- 307 days

It's been 307 days since I enjoyed food- 307 days since I shared food with my husband, Ralph.

It was almost midnight on September 16, 2018, and we stood in our tiny beach-house sharing bites of Ben &Jerry's Cherry Garcia ice cream after he had stopped at a liquor store and bought me a small carton of the delicious dessert.

Our Tiny Beach House in San Diego, CA

We had spent that Sunday at an all-day concert called Kaaboo in Del Mar and we shared our favorite moments ( his favorite was the lady-band TLC and mine was Katy Perry.) while taking turns eating out of the carton with forks. (It's a family tradition to use forks.)

The ice cream was delicious.

Not Us

The next day, while I was out, he died of a sudden heart attack. I haven't enjoyed food since that night, but it's time.

I've lost 17 pounds since he left (he came to me in a dream and told me I was too thin. As if.) and I've moved three times. I cooked at Thanksgiving and Christmas, but the food was flavored with my tears.

I recently moved in with family and I've been cooking again. It's a form of meditation and it makes me happy to feed people. (I occasionally eat what I cook...it's going to take time.)

I need to write again while I cook because this blog holds so many happy memories and I want- no I NEED to make new memories.

My husband of 40 years loved that I cooked for so many people and he enjoyed helping me plan dinner parties. He's not here anymore, but I am. I'm still a matriarch and soon- with the help of family and friends- I will once again cook for family and friends and be the Laughing Matriarch.

Our Last Photo was taken at Kaaboo- Del Mar- Sept. 16, 2018